PUZZLES

Do you know what it feels like, to be loved and then spit out, just to be chewed on all over again, in order to get spit out again?
Do you know what it feels like, to find a pattern in the kind of people who you're not on speaking terms with anymore (namely: your former best and closest mates)?
Do you know what it feels like, to just lie still in bed every night and wonder about your puzzle of life; to wonder what piece you are?

Every day, I wonder if I'm the missing or the superfluous piece.
Every day, I wonder if I never had enough impact on others to really be noticed or if they just didn't like me good enough to keep me and decided I should no longer bother them.

Every day, I remind myself of the missing piece and the missing peace.
The only thing that gets me through another day, another day and yet another, is the thought that I was someone's missing piece,- That I didn't have an impact on them; that I didn't change anything.
That would make my life unfulfilled and suicide a cowardice.

I don't want to be the missing piece anymore,
I want to fit, finally fit.

So, yes, I pray. I pray to God that someday I'll find out what piece I really am. I pray that others find this out as well. And maybe that'll give me some peace.
I just pray to the same dear God that I'm not the missing piece.