FORHARRISON

In Holland right now.
Missing shitloads out of you.
I can't believe that we only needed those days to become that much closer.
I guess they only showed us that everything that we already had before we met, was real to begin with, and that made it more real.
The days without you are tedious and pass slowly. I can't believe you mean this much to me.
All I can say, is that if I mean as much to you as you said I do.. I'm not putting up a white flag above my door and I'm going down with this ship.
I don't know why, but I've always felt as if I were living my life in fragments; little pieces, tied together, sometimes with pieces in between missing.
The fragments are mostly songs, that's why I told you that the people I care about are mostly associated with a song, even if I don't tell them. If I care enough about someone, I sing them the song. I wanted to sing you a song, because I cared enough about you and it didn't seem 'right' not to have a song for you, but the song I sung wasn't the right song either. Now, there seem to be too many songs. There are too many things I associate with you, with us.
This is the one that's been stuk in my head since I've arrived in Holland: White Flag from Dido. You should read your personal message on facebook first, however. And maybe make sure that Lanna didn't read that. I tried to make it the least sentimental as I could, so I wrote it on a piece of paper before I started typing. But that didn't help in the end. Normally it does, but with you.... Everything has been different from the start. You're too perfect. We are too perfect.

Here are the lyrics to the song:

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you
or I'll tell you that
But if I didn't say it
Well, I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

But I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess
And destruction to come back again
And I cause nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "It's over"
Then I'm sure that that makes sense

And I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

It's not all that great. I like the song, but like I said in the message I sent you (do you prefer e-mails or messages by the way??!): I don't think I'm in love with you. It's just a lot of love. I love you a lot and it grows profounder and profounder. Logically enough, there's a point where you fall in love, but where it is exactly, I don't know. I don't know if it's already happened or it has yet to happen. I only know that my heart is yours, because you are good for me.

For the first time in my life, I have something to live for. Someone to live for.
Someone who makes me happy, who is literally my best friend and the best lover I could possibly hope for.