"I know what conscience is, to begin with. It is not what you told me it was. It is the divinest thing in us. Don't sneer at it, Harry, any more - at least not before me. I want to be good. I can't bear the idea of my soul being hideous." Oscar Wilde (The Picture Of Dorian Gray)

23.6.10

LOVETHESETHINGSHAH.

000. Name: Camila Maria de Matos Ferreira van Wuijckhuijse
001. Gender: Girl
002. Nickname: Mila, Milly, Camel, Cam, Camster, Camie.. you tell me!
003. Cutest lovebird-name: pancake, pineapple
004. E-mail address: milly_damil@hotmail.com, camila.vw@hotmail.com
005. Date of birth: august 27 1990
006. Astro sign: Virgo
007. Place of birth: Soestdijk (Utrecht, Holland)
008. Residence: the Bronxville, NY, USA
009. Phone number: don´t have a phone here yet.
010. Siblings: Melissa (15)
011. School: Sarah Lawrence College
012. Country/City/Sub-urbs: Country, but close to the city, a little like Sarah Lawrence is to NYC
013. Weight: 58kg
014. Height: 1m67
015. Shoe size: EU size 37/38
016. Eye colour: blue
017. Hair colour: normal people call it brown
018. Pets: Melissa (15)
019. Favourite colour: navy blue.
020. Favourite dinner: Portuguese food
021. What I definitely don't eat: Rat brains or cat intestines.
022. Favourite drink: Bubble tea (from Hong Kong!), Strawberry Margharita
023. Studies: Acting, directing, writing, French
024. Marriage or living together: First move in and then get married
025. Favourite music: Old skool jazz, old skool rock, musical songs
026. Cell phone: Blackberry Bold 9000!
027. Sun or snow: Snow on the landscape and mountains so I can ski, with the sun in my face! Definitely!
028. Dream car: A PINK MUSTANG!!!!
029. Best radio: I don't listen to the radio anymore
030. Best magazine: Nylon!, Australian Vogue, French Vogue
031. Best toothpaste: Toothpaste that works...
032. How late I usually go to bed: 1am
033. Favourite pajama-fabrics: birthday suit.
034. How many children I want later on: 2 I guess.
035. What kind of shoes I like to wear: Pumps
036. Best place to sleep: My lover's bed, wearing his shirt.. Hmm.
037. Favourite song of the moment: I wanna be a billionaire.
038. Relationship: Engaged, but not committed at the moment. It´s a longgg story.
039. Crush of the moment: I miss someone, but my crush is in Portugal, with me.
040. Do I get emotional sometimes: I'm the most over-emotional person you will ever meet.
041. Do I cry when I watch a movie: If the movie is good and I can relate to it, then yes
042. Favourite author: I don't have one, but I like Jane Austen, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Charlotte Bronte and Paolo Coelho a whole lot. Their books make my lives what they are and inspire me in all ways that are possible
043. Typing blindly: Yes, except when I'm eating noodles or something
044. Happiness through money: I don't believe that money equals happiness, but I do believe that money makes some things a bunch easier.. I just happen to be brought up in a lucky way, when it comes to financial matters
045. Nicest people I know: Kunal, Bram. Melissa.
046. How many toothbrushes I have: 2. I don't know why, but I've got 2
047. Behind their backs or in their faces: In their faces. I'm just like that. But when it's about me, I'd rather have it behind my back,- I'm not ready for some truths about myself
048. Most romantic moment in my life: Imagine living in the 21st century and getting a letter on the day you get back from a journey to the other side of the world, from someone who you love, who lives on another continent. The letter you receive, is 5 pages long and on every page, there is at least 3 times mentioned that the person who wrote the letter, loves you, misses you and wants to be with you. The rest of the contents of the letter are about how beautiful you are and the person that wrote the letter, opens up to you. It seems years ago, but this happened to me in november 'O8. I still cry when I read that letter.
049. Piercings: One in each earlobe (: getting another one in my right ear, in the little bulb that´s connected to the cheek! wheeee.
050. Tattoos: a little heart on top of my left foot.
052. Fast or slow: Depends what it's about
053. Sexuality: Bisexual
054. Smoking: yep.
055. Drugs: Erm that just teared me up
056. Alcohol: Yes! I'm not a binge drinker; I don't like drunks
057. What I'm afraid of: Love, not succeeding in whatever it is I want to succeed in, not having enough time.. etc.
058. Favourite city: I don't have just one,- Hong Kong, Lisbon, London, Paris, Maastricht, Amsterdam, so many more
059. Favourite tv series: The L Word, Ally McBeal, Joan of Arcadia
060. Favourite holiday destination: NYC, Portugal
061. Favourite place to go out: Taj
062. Big/Small people: I feel so safe when someone puts their arms around me and they're a bit taller than I am, so I can rest my head on the curve of their neck.. It's one of the most amazing feelings I've ever had
063. Nice person I met this year: Kunal Basu, my fiancee.
064. What I do whenever I'm down: Binge eating and puking.
065. Being alone: Love it, but I need people around me the now and then, otherwise I feel like I'm going insane
066. What I want to be when I'm big: Musical theatre artist.
067. Going out: is amazing. love it! love meeting new people!
068. Living together with someone of the same character as mine: It would be nice in some cases, because I know a lot about myself so I know what to do and what not to do, but I think it would ruin the both of us eventually, no matter how cool the person, if there weren't another person living with us (social workers?)
069. What I definitely do not drink: Snake blood
070. Name of future children: Fredrik and Zoya.
071. Relationship with parents: Not good,- I've never been the daughter they wanted me to be. I'm sorry for that, but I can't make it up to them anymore. It's really complicated
072. Driving around in cars: Love it! I love falling asleep in a car and waking up in a different country! Would adore living in the US and travel around a lot in a pick up truck or something.. Would be amazing!!
073. Best feeling in the world: Waking up in the morning, staring in your lover's face, feeling no fear whatsoever
074. Worst feeling in the world: The process of letting go, because the things that you WANT to let go, are hardest to let go of
075. Teddy bear: Egbert, he is a white little thingy and wears red. I've had him since the moment I was born
076. A word/sentence I often use: 'Fuck'/'We ran out of Nutella'/'Darling'/'No, I don't curl my hair' (not joking)
077. Only one question to God: Why do M&Ms smudge when I hold them in my hand for too long??!
078. Romance: I am a romantic,- hopelessly romantic
079. Aliens: I think they do exist, actually
080. Glasses: Yes, I have a couple of pairs.
081. Contact lenses: THANK GOD FOR THOSE!! Not coloured though!
082. Prejudice or waiting to see: Waiting to see
083. Why I'm doing this: I´m bored because I´m grounded.
084. People that hate me: they can say what they want about me, but i just keep singing my song!
086. Why we live: Success, reproduction, survival of the fittest
087. What I do as soon as I get home: pee.
088. What I would never forgive someone: I would forgive anyone for anything. Except for harming my dear ones in a life-changing way (a bad life-changing way); it would drive me insane. Literally
089. What's under my bed: I hope nothing illegal
090. The colour of the carpet in my room: I don't have carpet in my entire house, let alone my room....
091. One thing I can take with me to a deserted island: A little buzzer that would be able to transfer people from one place to the other
092. Who I'd like to be for a day: Idina Menzel, I think.. Just to see what it's like. Or Paolo Coelho; he inspires me immensely
093. Biggest dream: 'I am me' - those words being all I need
094. Biggest problem: I doubt myself
095. Bad characteristic: Very, very, very emotional
096. Addictions: Scratching nail polish off of my nails the second day of having it on my nails (very annoying!!), smoking, falling in love.
097. Love at first sight: I don't believe in 'love' at first sight, but 'falling in love' after having had only a glimpse of another person is definitely possible. Remember that I believe that there is great difference to find between 'loving' and 'being in love'
098. Honesty or one white lie can't harm anyone?: Honest towards others, but not always to myself. Sometimes I lie to myself to feel safer or to delude myself from the real meaning from what other people do and/or say. These white lies are self-protection and self-protection only
101. Cheating in a relationship: It's like cheating at Monopoly,- you just don't do that.
102. If I believe in miracles: NO (:
103. Sports: Dancing! Football (soccer, for the Americans here), skiing (racing), volleybal, badminton, kickboxen, pilates. I hate yoga with every fiber of my being
104. Sports I'd never try: Netball
105. Operations: I'm going to have one on my nose, because it has been crooked and I can't breathe properly and it affects my singing. I was actually going to get an operation about a year ago, but due to certain circumstances, the doctors thought it was better to wait
106. Very dark secret: Yes. Which nobody knows. Nobody, except for me
107. Dreams can become reality: Of course they can. If it's the road you're taking, is your choice, however
108. Colour of my underwear right now: i don´t wear underwear
109. Favourite way of saying goodbye: A kiss on the cheek or on the mouth if I'm really good friends with the people. A lover would be a french kiss,- very gentle.
110. If I'd change my name, I'd change it into: Eveline, I think. I've got a friend back in Holland and her name is Eveline and I've always thought of it as one of the most beautiful names for girls. It just looks and sounds so elegant, as if it should always be written with a feather and coal black ink, on papyrus. Wah
111. Define yourself in one word and one word only: Fibrant
112. Ever been in love,- real love: It still hurts and will never stop hurting. It happened to me once and I'm more careful now
113. Favourite fruit: Mango
114. Favourite flower: Frangipani
115. Supersticion: I don't like black cats. I don't like cats anyway, but if they're black, I just feel like running away
116. Favourite ice cream: Mocca-flavoured
117. What the weather is like at the moment: sunny, 25 degrees. yumm.
118. The last person I spoke to on the phone: Enrique :)
119. The amount of keys I always have with me: 4
120. The person I miss at this very moment: Kunal.
121. Job: none at this moment.
122. Left- or right-handed: Right-handed. Everything that's on my left side is either uglier, shorter or less capable of doing things than the things that are on my right side
123. Sport to look at: Ice skating.
124. Favourite subject in school: Drama and French.
125. My last words will be: ´Do you think I ever was me?´ and I hope the reply will be:´I think you were everyone you could be.´
126. Were Adam and Eve naked?: Clothes had to be invented somehow, right? So I guess that Eve got bored with life and started sewing after grabbing the apple and pressing her teeth through the apple's thin skin
127. Someone I'd like to meet, but who would it be?: Someone who would, miraculously, understand me and want to be with me, no matter what. It doesn't matter if it would be just as friends, as long as he/she understands where I'm coming from, without having to say too much
128. Where I'd get a tattoo: Left wrist is next on the list!
129. Favourite gum: chocolate/mint flavoured.
130. Most gorgeous part of a woman: Depends on the woman. Everyone is unique
131. Most gorgeous part about me: Blue eyes, I guess
132. I'd kill this person: 'Ginny Weasley',- she just pisses me off throughout the series
133. North, East, South, West: South-West
134. Cat or dog: Neither, but I think I'd go for a dog in the end if I really HAD to choose
135. Simple and clear or complicated and blurry: I am simple and clear to others, but inside my head it's all complicated and blurry
136. Funny or serious: Healthy balance there, youngsters
137. Full or half-full milk: half full
138. Reading or writing: SHIT THAT'S HARD! Hardest till now... Erm, I just typed 'Reading', but I think I'm gonna go for writing anyway..
139. Coloured or black-and-white pictures: Depends on what kind of picture they are, but if it would be any picture at all, I'd choose black and white, with grain
140.Sunrise or sunset: Sunset - on the beach
141. Laughing or dreaming: both at the same time
142. Summer- or winter-holidays: Summer
143. Sweet or hard: Sweet
144. Introverted or extraverted: I'm extraverted. Very much so, indeed
145. Inside or outside: Always the outside first,- don't lie, women! I fall for the ugliest people though, so I guess that is proof I don't really pay attention to looks
146. Rebellion or a book of laws: Rebellion
147. Light or darkness: Darkness
148. Chatting or calling someone up: Chatting! I hate my voice on the phone.. It sounds as if there is a bag of kittens and someone is smashing a hammer on it
149. Sneezing or coughing: Coughing
150. Condom or barebacked: Erm. Like better bare, but always be safe, girls!
151. Guys with makeup on or without: Without. You're a guy for a reason
152. Older boyfriend: Very much wanted. Not younger!
153. Love of your life or friends: My love of my life would have to be one of my better friends, so I can't really answer that question
154. Kiss or Hug: Kiss
155. Brown, blonde or black hair: Brown, even though I like black a lot too!
156. Pencil or pen: Pen
157. Black or white: Black
158. Laughing or crying: Crying from laughing
159. Coca cola or Pepsi : Coke is coke, just get over yourself, guys
160. Thongs or boxers: For girls in general-> thongs. For me-> nothing. For guys-> BOXERS PLEASE!
161. Vanilla or chocolate: vanilla
162. Pasta or pizza: Pasta
163. Hard or soft: Soft
164. Party or disco: disco
165. Driving yourself or having someone to drive for you: Driving myself seems the ultimate freedom right now!
166. Clingy tv show or a girly chickflick movie: Movie
167. Half-empty or half-full: Half-empty
168. Cremating or burying: Cremation for the win
169. Lego or duplo: Lego
170. Forgive and forget or forgive and not forget: Forgive and never ever forget
171. Strawberries or whip cream: a combination of both!!
172. Belief: I do not need other people to tell me how to believe in God, thank you very much
173. Twelve roses or a sorry note: It takes more than a note and some flowers (that DIE, may I add) for something to pass over. Besides the sorry note, give it some time
174. Cinema or sofa at home: sofaaaaa!!
175. Doing the laundry: How fun! ...nawt
176. Heaven or hell: I believe in a heaven, but I do not believe that hell really exists
177: Spoiling or being spoiled: Being spoiled, hehe
178: Beach or pool: Pool
179. Feet or neck: Neck
180. Jeans or other fabrics: Jeans (or lace when I'm wearing a skirt or a dress)
181. Tank-top or T-shirt: Tank-top
182. Favourite brand: Pierre Balmain
183. Swimming pool or sauna: Sauna
184. Bathing oil or bathing foam: If with someone else-> oil, so you can rub each other in. If alone-> foam, just to enjoy yourself
185. Shower or big bath tub: Big bath tub
186. Simple and complicated: Simple
187. Sex or alcohol: Sex
188. Sex or a movie: Movie and then sex?
189. To speak or to hush: To hush and listen carefully is the better thing to do, but I'm always talking (ALWAYS)
190. Happy or sad: Happy
191. Life or death: Life
192. If my house stood on fire, I'd firstly get out: My lover and me
193. In love right now: yes
194. Virgin: No
195. Longest relationship: Relationship that meant something to me? Half a year.
196. Shortest relationship: First one that ever counted, with Bram: a week. We got together like 6 times, but decided we are just better of just being best friends and nothing else, because it feels a bit awkward sometimes, and considering it feels like we're brother and sister now, that was a good decision to make. First relationship that meant a lot to me and wasn't with Bram was Tim Brown. Lasted for a month
197. Disco with friends and your lover or home with just your significant other and you: Disco
198. Favourite position: Depends on the person
199. Weirdest place you ever did 'it': Cinema
200. Place where you'd like to do 'it' some time: A park
201. Sex before marriage: Is ok, if it's for the right reasons
202. Take away or cooking dinner together: Cooking together! That's so cute!
203. Ever getting married?: I´m engaged! lol.
204. Fastfood or chique restaurant: On a date-> fastfood. Just for fun-> restaurant
205. Is it okay for a woman to have complexes and problems?: Of course. As long as she keeps/starts leading the life she wants and doesn't prevent others from doing the same thing
206. Beer or wine: Wine! WHITE!
207. First thought that came to mind when I got out of bed this morning: I haven't slept for 3 days straight now (this is non-fiction)..
208. Reincarnation: I do not believe in that
210. Pretend to believe in reincarnation-> what kind of an animal would you like to be when yo'd come back?: A cockroach. Apparently their survival instincts are the fittest!
211. Most original way of asking someone to marry you: If I would say that, it wouldn't be the most original way anymore, because I'd have mentioned it before you could have done it. I like the idea of a first date, even though it hardly ever happens and when it does.... It's not a good thing most of the time
212. Heating or hearth: Hearth!!!
213. What's on my mousepad: Kate Winslet. It's the latest Elle from the UK and I always use magazines as mousepads, so yeah.. She ended up as a mousepad
214. Ever kissed someone of the same sex: Yes. I kissed a girl and I liked it!
215. Ever been cheating: No, just no
216. How the hell I got this 'survey': It was on the website of a friend of mine
217. A lot of place in bed or hedgehog-like sleeping: I sleep in the foetus-position, but when with lover, in the arms, because it feels safe..
218. Dream house: An old cottage on the English county or a huge mansion. Not a palace though, I don't like palaces. I love the house the Humphrey's inhabit in the series of Gossip Girl; it's absolutely my thing!
219. What my last dream was about: There were black crows in it and an orange sun, but I don't remember if it was a sunrise or a sunset
220. Most important people in my life: Melissa and the people that I love indescribably much, like Kuanl, Bram.. There isn't one set of 'most important' people in my life, I think, actually.. It's the people that inspire you mostly, that are the 'most important', I reckon, but when it comes to actual influences on you, whether you choose to undergo them or not, are also from family and people that have hurt you in the past. Writers (artists!) like Jane Austen, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Charlotte Bronte and Paolo Coelho dare me to get everything out of life. They challenge me to be the best person I can possibly be
221. Love to do when I'm older: Have a really cute cottage somewhere or a huge house somewhere else
222. Walking on the beach or through the mountains: Beach
223. Proud of: Gotten invited by a publisher in Holland (Prometheus) about me writing a book (ah-ma-zing!) and 99% on a maths test!!!!
224. Regretting: Nothing. Absolutely nothing
225. Often in fights: Nope, hardly ever. Except with my parents.. That's a continuing battle
226. Sleeping with a stuffed animal: I do so
227. Daring: Very
228. Spontaneous: You can say that again!
229. Sweet: Definitely
230. Honest: I'm honest, just not always as honest to myself
231. Jealous: I'm very jealous. It's not even normal anymore
232. Funny: Apparently I am
233. Crying: Quite easily whenever I'm alone, but very rarely with someone around
234. Sex after marriage: Whenever you're ready for it
235. Happy with myself: No, but I don't hate myself anymore like when I did when I was 14. That was terrible.. I have accepted my flaws and even though it hurts to say them out loud or to write them down even, I know that they are there and what they are.
236: Most important in my life: Succes, in whatever it is I want to succeed in. The people I love. Myself, because without myself I wouldn't be here
237. Tidy room: right now, it´s actually pretty tidy! :o
238. Fidelity or infidelity: Fidelity!!

11.6.10

PICTURETIME.