COMFORTZONE

Have you ever had that feeling, that you don't want to get too excited over something, because the downfall can only be longer and the pain can only be worse?
I had that today.
In the morning, I went to see my psychiatrist and he asked me to rate my mood on a scale from 0 to 10 (10 being perfectly fine). I said 9.
I know, I know. It's a bit.. Too high, for my comfort zone. But I was that high, that I didn't even notice I had a comfort zone in the first place!
So later today (in the evening, just before dinner), there was an outburst. I'm not going to type every letter of the discussions out here,- let's just say it was a very emotional dinner. I couldn't stand it.
Basically, there was a decision for me to make: purging or cutting. So what do I do? The one of which my parents don't know I do it. The one I can hide. The one that's my drug; always has been and always will be. Purging.
I'm in my comfort zone again now. I'd rate it a 4.