Spoiled bitch.

Dear lovebirds!

I'm going to Thailand tomorrow,- Pattaya, to be exactly.

Now, I don't know if you know anything about this place, but the only things that I know, are that:

1. It's HOT.

2. It's pretty.

3. It's a prostitute resort.

I really really do NOT want to go. I'd love to go to Thailand one day, but not with Christmas, and especially not this Christmas!

Why?

1. I have tons and tons of homework to do. I already have massive concentration issues, but it doesn't particularly help that I'm going to a beautiful place on the planet where the weather is good and I've never been to before.

2. A couple of my best friends are back in Hong Kong now, which includes Dhruv, who goes to boarding school in Pune (India) now. I miss him so fucking much,- it's almost unbearable. And now he's finally back and I've only had one opportunity to meet him this far. Tomorrow night I'm leaving for Pattaya and I won't be able to see him anymore.

3. I met some awesome new people, just like I mentioned before. They will be gone by the time I get back, which sucks majorly.

4. I won't get to know new people, because due to the riots, strikes and financial crisis, nobody is even thinking of going on a holiday to Thailand. Friendless for life, 'yay'!

5. Christmas for me, means a cold time that gets warmed up with the stuff around it. Christmas is not: lying on a beach all day long to see who gets brownest. It's 29 degrees in Pattaya at the moment.

6. I hate the beach anyway. Even when it's summer and you're supposed to be sunbathing,- I avoid it.

7. I won't be able to go out. My parents and grandparents will be with me 24/7 and if they are not, then my sister will be. Don't get me wrong, I love her to death, I really do. I love her more than anything in the world. But she is 13. Now that is young, especially when it comes to going out.. Gahh.

8.  Loads of things were already scheduled a long time ago: I was going to have lunch with Sylvia, I was going to do a sleepover with Tiffany, I was going to have dinner at Dhruv's house every night (just kidding, darling (; ), I was going to go watch Madagascar 2 (how cool is that!!!?? I KNOW right!!) with a couple of friends, I was going to go out with Christmas with the people I met 4 nights ago and I was going to have dinner on New Year's Eve because of Claudia's 17th birthday, Christmas & the New Year. AND SO MUCH MORE. Now I had to cancel everything again and made a complete fool out of myself. It wouldn't have been this bad if only I had known before and could've cancelled everything like.. a week ago. Geez.

In case you didn't notice yet: I am freaking pissed off.

It's not just the fact that we're going. It's the way that it's been taken care of:

-My dad asks me if I want to go.

-I think about it for 10 minutes.

-I say I think it's best for me to stay, because of a lot of homework and already scheduled appointments with friends that live on the other side of the world now.

-My dad tells me to think about it for a while and tell him the day afterwards.

-I think about it.

-I tell him the day afterwards that I want to stay and I give him the above 8 reasons (in different words, however. I know when to be diplomatic.).

-He looks at me.

-He looks away.

-Later in the evening, I ask my sister: 'Are we going or not??!'

-My sister answers that she was eavesdropping and 'by coincidence' heard that we are both going with them to Pattaya.

What is this? I don't even get to hear where I'm going anymore??

And why do people ask me what I want if they're just going to ignore me when the answer isn't what they'd like/expect to hear??! Jesus-CHRIST.

It's not that I don't appreciate the fact that we're going, by the way. Because I really appreciate it. I just don't want to go NOW.

God, I feel guilty for not willing to go. I feel like such a spoiled little brat, but I can't help it. I honestly think I have good reasons not to want to go to Thailand this holiday.... It's just a waste of money.

This only shows that I shouldn't look forward to anything,- not even holidays!

It can only fucking disappoint me..

F u c k  m y  l i f e .