First and second thoughts.

What a fine, fine Christmas this was.
NAWT.
I woke up this morning and the first thing I thought, was literally that.
I looked to my side to find that my sister had already left to her diving course, which will take up 5 entire days of the holiday. Happy for her, not so happy for me. But I smiled and said I was happy. For her. The reason I'm not going too, is because I am blessed with the disease epilepsy. I am supposed to take my medication every morning after breakfast (which I keep missing every day here, because I just don't wake up on time) and I cannot do all the cool stuff, like: getting my driver's license, bungee jumping, swimming in a swimming pool by myself with no supervision (that knows of my illness), showering when I am home alone, taking a bath on my own, parasailing, sky-diving and, of course, 'normal' diving. Sucks.
Fortunately, in half a year, I can finally do these things (again)!! Looking forward to it, I genuinely am (:
(The reason why I can do it again in half a year, is because it's exactly a year and a half ago that I had my last big seizure and.. well, these are the laws of epilepsism.)

My second thought of the day,- literally, the second.. Was that I hate whining to you guys. But you know, I guess nobody's really reading it anyway, so it doesn't matter all that much.. And still, I feel bad about only having shit things to say. At the moment, I am just in a piss mood, but overall.. My blog isn't exactly the funnest of all blogs on blogspot.com and I kinda want to try making it a bit happier.
The thing with blogger is that it's the only place where I can rant about what I actually feel, without smashing vases against the wall and fighting with the people around me. It's a sort of therapy, I guess. It helps me to put the things in a row inside my head, so I see things clearer and there's the fact that it prevents me from smashing things/people.
Nevertheless, I am absolutely going to try and be happier from now on. As you already could see before (but you didn't, because you're not reading this), I posted a couple of pictures of the most gorgeous bags and a link to the most wonderful website ever (may I remind you: http:/dlgg.oh-aspiration.org/ )(if you didn't see it before: en-freaking-joy!). I might do that more often. Even though 80 percent of the blogs on blogspot.com are about fashion, it is the only thing I can think of at this moment that can make me happy (and sad at the same time, because I am broke again). So if you like fashion, stay posted (:


Lots of love, and a merry belated Christmas! Hope you guys had great Christmases!
I'll tell you about mine in the next post.

-Camil.