Please take this quiz if you're a student in either junior year, senior year, or any of the college years (not graduated yet).
It only takes you 3 minutes and if you answer honestly, you help me out massively with my ethics presentation/project!!
Here's the link:
Click Here to take survey
Thanks for the trouble, sweets.
11.11.09
KIKI
Lately, I've been intoxicated by looking at Kiki Smith's artwork. It's the most extraordinary artwork I've seen in a while and even though I don't like everything, I do like a whole bunch of what she's created.
Here's a picture of Kiki herself, which is naturally intoxicating enough:
Here's a picture of Kiki herself, which is naturally intoxicating enough:
BLAKE
Let's talk about Blake Lively.
I'm not the biggest fan on the planet of her acting, or her modelling work, but I must admit that the following pictures of Blake are truly stunning.
Stunningly photoshopped as well.. One might actually start believing people could look like this.
If ever.
Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy.
Indulge yourself in fantasy, dear lovebirds.
MAPETITESTRUDELDEPOMME
So, in my opinion this totally rocks.
Imma do it myself sometime :)
It's made by one of my best friends, la petite Soizic :)
Imma do it myself sometime :)
It's made by one of my best friends, la petite Soizic :)
9.11.09
BLAWGTIME
* Your most marked characteristic? Stubbornness.
* The quality you most like in a man? Love of life combined with responsibility.
* The quality you most like in a woman? See above..
* What do you most value in your friends? How they have reasons enough not to be my friends, but are my friends anyway.
* What is your principle defect? I'm too nice too people + anxiousness.
* What is your favorite occupation? The theatre.
* What is your dream of happiness? That it is sustainable.
* What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes? Failing at making the people around me happy.
* What would you like to be? A Musical Theatre performer.
* In what country would you like to live? The beautiful Portugal.
* What is your favorite color? I don't have one.
* What is your favorite flower? Fresias.
* What is your favorite bird? Seagulls.
* Who are your favorite prose writers? Paolo Coelho, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Jane Austen, Charlotte Bronte, J.R.R. Tolkien.
* Who are your favorite poets? Keats, T.S. Elliott, Seamus Heaney.
* Who is your favorite hero of fiction? Gatsby, from The Great Gatsby.
* Who are your favorite heroines of fiction? Paulie, from Lost And Delirious, and Jane, from Jane Eyre.
* Who are your favorite composers? Chopin and Mozart.
* Who are your favorite painters? Vermeer.
* Who are your heroes in real life? My sister Melissa van Wuijckhuijse and Kate Winslet.
* Who are your favorite heroines of history? Elizabeth.
* What are your favorite names? Bernardo, Tania.
* What is it you most dislike? Ungenuine behaviour.
* What historical figures do you most despise? Don John and Iago.
* What event in military history do you most admire? Joan Of Arc's battles.
* What reform do you most admire? Emancipation (especially for women and the gays).
* What natural gift would you most like to possess? The ability to sing and dance less forcefully.
* How would you like to die? Quietly, with the person who loves me on my side. I want to have time and knowledge of knowing what to say.
* What is your present state of mind? Stressed; I should naht be doing this.
* To what faults do you feel most indulgent? Greed.
* What is your motto? I am my own motto.
* The quality you most like in a man? Love of life combined with responsibility.
* The quality you most like in a woman? See above..
* What do you most value in your friends? How they have reasons enough not to be my friends, but are my friends anyway.
* What is your principle defect? I'm too nice too people + anxiousness.
* What is your favorite occupation? The theatre.
* What is your dream of happiness? That it is sustainable.
* What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes? Failing at making the people around me happy.
* What would you like to be? A Musical Theatre performer.
* In what country would you like to live? The beautiful Portugal.
* What is your favorite color? I don't have one.
* What is your favorite flower? Fresias.
* What is your favorite bird? Seagulls.
* Who are your favorite prose writers? Paolo Coelho, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Jane Austen, Charlotte Bronte, J.R.R. Tolkien.
* Who are your favorite poets? Keats, T.S. Elliott, Seamus Heaney.
* Who is your favorite hero of fiction? Gatsby, from The Great Gatsby.
* Who are your favorite heroines of fiction? Paulie, from Lost And Delirious, and Jane, from Jane Eyre.
* Who are your favorite composers? Chopin and Mozart.
* Who are your favorite painters? Vermeer.
* Who are your heroes in real life? My sister Melissa van Wuijckhuijse and Kate Winslet.
* Who are your favorite heroines of history? Elizabeth.
* What are your favorite names? Bernardo, Tania.
* What is it you most dislike? Ungenuine behaviour.
* What historical figures do you most despise? Don John and Iago.
* What event in military history do you most admire? Joan Of Arc's battles.
* What reform do you most admire? Emancipation (especially for women and the gays).
* What natural gift would you most like to possess? The ability to sing and dance less forcefully.
* How would you like to die? Quietly, with the person who loves me on my side. I want to have time and knowledge of knowing what to say.
* What is your present state of mind? Stressed; I should naht be doing this.
* To what faults do you feel most indulgent? Greed.
* What is your motto? I am my own motto.
8.11.09
HASHANDCARCRASHES
So yesterday I had drama all day long, in the good sense of the word. We didn't really use our time optimally, which annoyed me, but we did have another run-through, which we're in desperate need of, so i guess that's good :)
After theatre rehearsals, I met up with Jarrett (who's a genuine, nice guy) and Nick (the boifrand) and went for dinner with them to Mezbaan's. We had some delicious butter chicken with romaani roti, with hookah (mint). After dinner, we went to Maitreyi's houseparty, where Nick, Sharky and me smoked up a little, but it was really airy, so the effect was nil. Aushim ended up getting really freaking drunk, so of course *I* ended up cleaning up all his puke, and tried to keep him conscious with Nick and Nikhil (and Premal, occasionally)(even Jarrett came to help out the now and then). It was really scary; his pulse kept falling and then coming back again, ugh. This is the one reason I don't have houseparties; this is what's ALWAYS happens- we're lucky even that it just happened to one person, not 5. Ah well.
I'm seeing Jarrett again on Friday, because he's coming to watch my play. That should be fun :) Maybe his aunt and uncle want to come as well :) I'll send an invitation.
Okay, today on my way to school.. I was involved in a car accident. I felt horrible all day long and have a light concussion, but I should be fine in a couple of days :) Pff. What a shit again and again and again -.- Ah well. As long as I'm ok for the performance this Friday!!
After theatre rehearsals, I met up with Jarrett (who's a genuine, nice guy) and Nick (the boifrand) and went for dinner with them to Mezbaan's. We had some delicious butter chicken with romaani roti, with hookah (mint). After dinner, we went to Maitreyi's houseparty, where Nick, Sharky and me smoked up a little, but it was really airy, so the effect was nil. Aushim ended up getting really freaking drunk, so of course *I* ended up cleaning up all his puke, and tried to keep him conscious with Nick and Nikhil (and Premal, occasionally)(even Jarrett came to help out the now and then). It was really scary; his pulse kept falling and then coming back again, ugh. This is the one reason I don't have houseparties; this is what's ALWAYS happens- we're lucky even that it just happened to one person, not 5. Ah well.
I'm seeing Jarrett again on Friday, because he's coming to watch my play. That should be fun :) Maybe his aunt and uncle want to come as well :) I'll send an invitation.
Okay, today on my way to school.. I was involved in a car accident. I felt horrible all day long and have a light concussion, but I should be fine in a couple of days :) Pff. What a shit again and again and again -.- Ah well. As long as I'm ok for the performance this Friday!!
6.11.09
WASTED
Tonight I'm going to take out my mother's friend's nephew for dinner. The irony here? Nick is coming along.. He'll have a blast.... -.-
After rehearsals all day long, I'm meeting up with Nick and after that, we'll go to Carter Road to meet Jarrett and have some dinner/sheesha at Mezbaan. Then we're going to Maitreyi's houseparty, which she's having because her parents are out of the country and her birthday is next week on the 13th, but she can't do anything then, because the drama performance is then! So yeah.. Tonight it is....
Here some beautiful pictures :) Can't help myself but loving thinspiration.
After rehearsals all day long, I'm meeting up with Nick and after that, we'll go to Carter Road to meet Jarrett and have some dinner/sheesha at Mezbaan. Then we're going to Maitreyi's houseparty, which she's having because her parents are out of the country and her birthday is next week on the 13th, but she can't do anything then, because the drama performance is then! So yeah.. Tonight it is....
Here some beautiful pictures :) Can't help myself but loving thinspiration.
"Time spent wasting is not being wasted."
P-P-PARTY.
Some music of The Ronettes, some baguettes, some crispy chicken, some orange juice.. And some love.
And the party is complete as can be + we're ready to rock.
And the party is complete as can be + we're ready to rock.
3.11.09
FRIDAYTHE13TH
The dark holes of depression should not lead the attention to 'dark', but to 'holes'. One can be severely depressed, but manic. It basically means they are climbing their way out of the hole and they're completely hyper at random points, and excessively (seemingly) 'happy'. People who only notice this, think the person is weird.
People who also notice the falling back into the hole, should probably notice in addition that there is probably a reason for the manic's person's behaviour. Falling hurts, so why wouldn't climbing back up? It might be the scariest thing in the world for them.
The fact that someone doesn't hurt him- or herself, does not mean they don't want to. I still write journal entries in my small journal whenever I feel I might lose myself for a second and in rage towards myself do it. The spiral you get into whenever you hurt yourself, is always present in your life. You're just not always in it. It doesn't mean you don't think about it. Sometimes the spiral is so close to you, you could easily reach it if you wanted to, and the problem is..You do want to at times. The trick is to turn around and walk in the opposite directing, which is what I always do (hardly ever anymore, because I hardly ever want to hurt myself :) ); at least when I'm writing about it, I'm not doing it. Right? Right.
Oh, on the same note, before I forget, Friday the 13th it's To Write Love On Her Arms-day. If you do not know what the organisation To Write Love On Her Arms means or stands for, take a look on Google, YouTube, anything really. It's basically a non-profit organisation that supports people who are coping with depression icw self-harm and thoughts of suicide. By writing Love on your wrist or your entire arm, you show your support for those people.
Learn to recognise depression on a mile's distance. It's oh so important..
Ask yourself why you don't like someone. Is it because he's weird? Is it because she just doesn't behave like anyone else you know and you don't know what to think of it?
Think again. It might be because of what I just told you.
Take a stand against self-harm and depression and show your support.
Not only on the 13th of November, but every day of your life.
You only have one life. So do others.
People who also notice the falling back into the hole, should probably notice in addition that there is probably a reason for the manic's person's behaviour. Falling hurts, so why wouldn't climbing back up? It might be the scariest thing in the world for them.
The fact that someone doesn't hurt him- or herself, does not mean they don't want to. I still write journal entries in my small journal whenever I feel I might lose myself for a second and in rage towards myself do it. The spiral you get into whenever you hurt yourself, is always present in your life. You're just not always in it. It doesn't mean you don't think about it. Sometimes the spiral is so close to you, you could easily reach it if you wanted to, and the problem is..You do want to at times. The trick is to turn around and walk in the opposite directing, which is what I always do (hardly ever anymore, because I hardly ever want to hurt myself :) ); at least when I'm writing about it, I'm not doing it. Right? Right.
Oh, on the same note, before I forget, Friday the 13th it's To Write Love On Her Arms-day. If you do not know what the organisation To Write Love On Her Arms means or stands for, take a look on Google, YouTube, anything really. It's basically a non-profit organisation that supports people who are coping with depression icw self-harm and thoughts of suicide. By writing Love on your wrist or your entire arm, you show your support for those people.
Learn to recognise depression on a mile's distance. It's oh so important..
Ask yourself why you don't like someone. Is it because he's weird? Is it because she just doesn't behave like anyone else you know and you don't know what to think of it?
Think again. It might be because of what I just told you.
Take a stand against self-harm and depression and show your support.
Not only on the 13th of November, but every day of your life.
You only have one life. So do others.
1.11.09
OMG201
I just totally realised how I posted exactly 200 posts the last time I posted something (which was a second ago, to be exact). I just felt I needed a moment silence for this lovely moment. It is a shining beacon of hope for the blog soul deep inside of me. I've missed blogging, quite frankly.
But hey, don't say my last post wasn't gorgeous? I'll kick you in the penis/ovaries. And it'll hurt (that wasn't a threat, just a warning :) ).
Now I've mentioned this great news, I'm going back to college apps.
But !FIRST! some pictures of the past 3 (or 4 even, maybe :/) months! :)
With Vanessa on my last night in Hong Kong. We had a show in Sheung Wan and it went pretty well! :)
I stayed in this hotel room for 2 fucking months. How fun is that?
Singing 'Fever' at a night out with Bharti (my best female friend in Mumbai; she was the first friend I made :) ) and her some of her lovely friends.
Another night out with Bharti and her friends. On the picture with Kimberley and Avinash (her brother). I look so incredibly white....I hope I tan a little. What? Nah. I don't think so either.
On a nice, sunny day with my sister in Stanley, during a short stop in Hong Kong :)
With Nilay and Nick. After getting ourselves completely fucking durrrrtee. Ridiculous. But it was fun.
During our Week Without Walls that wasn't a week without walls because some students decided to be pricks and ruin the trip for us so we stayed in Mumbai for the week, instead of going to Rishikesh. This was a fun day, though.
Ok, this is a joke. But I do urge you to watch A Very Potter Musical on YouTube. It's brilliant and I really really really hope I can be Hermione in the play if we're going to perform it at ASB!!
But hey, don't say my last post wasn't gorgeous? I'll kick you in the penis/ovaries. And it'll hurt (that wasn't a threat, just a warning :) ).
Now I've mentioned this great news, I'm going back to college apps.
But !FIRST! some pictures of the past 3 (or 4 even, maybe :/) months! :)
With Vanessa on my last night in Hong Kong. We had a show in Sheung Wan and it went pretty well! :)
I stayed in this hotel room for 2 fucking months. How fun is that?
Singing 'Fever' at a night out with Bharti (my best female friend in Mumbai; she was the first friend I made :) ) and her some of her lovely friends.
Another night out with Bharti and her friends. On the picture with Kimberley and Avinash (her brother). I look so incredibly white....I hope I tan a little. What? Nah. I don't think so either.
On a nice, sunny day with my sister in Stanley, during a short stop in Hong Kong :)
With Nilay and Nick. After getting ourselves completely fucking durrrrtee. Ridiculous. But it was fun.
During our Week Without Walls that wasn't a week without walls because some students decided to be pricks and ruin the trip for us so we stayed in Mumbai for the week, instead of going to Rishikesh. This was a fun day, though.
Ok, this is a joke. But I do urge you to watch A Very Potter Musical on YouTube. It's brilliant and I really really really hope I can be Hermione in the play if we're going to perform it at ASB!!
CINDYCAMPO
You give your heart and soul to those
Who you believe need to believe
You live your life in a positive light
You come from a place of love
But who gives to you and who believes you in this world of black and white?
It doesn’t matter
Plant the seed
Let God take over when you can't see, because
You should know out of everybody you are really never alone
You should know out of everybody you are loved, you have a beautiful soul
Even in the dead of silence, you are being blessed by what you hear
You should know out of everybody, you should know out of everybody
You are a beautiful soul, you are a beautiful soul
You don’t ask for anything in return
Yet sometimes you get burned
You pick yourself up, cleanse your soul of the dust
You live your life with love
When people take from you, mislead, misunderstand you, you never give up
And that’s what matters
Plant the seed
Let God take over
When you’re down on your knees, because
You should know out of everybody there are signs in front of behind you
You should know out of everybody
Messages from above all around you
They are there just to remind you of the love that stands right beside you
And in those times you seem to forget
I don’t mind reminding you that
You are a beautiful soul
You are so beautiful
You should know out of everybody you are really never alone
You should know out of everybody you are loved
You have a beautiful soul
Even in the dead of silence
You are being blessed by what you hear
You should know out of everybody, you should know out of everybody
You are a beautiful soul
You are a beautiful soul
Who you believe need to believe
You live your life in a positive light
You come from a place of love
But who gives to you and who believes you in this world of black and white?
It doesn’t matter
Plant the seed
Let God take over when you can't see, because
You should know out of everybody you are really never alone
You should know out of everybody you are loved, you have a beautiful soul
Even in the dead of silence, you are being blessed by what you hear
You should know out of everybody, you should know out of everybody
You are a beautiful soul, you are a beautiful soul
You don’t ask for anything in return
Yet sometimes you get burned
You pick yourself up, cleanse your soul of the dust
You live your life with love
When people take from you, mislead, misunderstand you, you never give up
And that’s what matters
Plant the seed
Let God take over
When you’re down on your knees, because
You should know out of everybody there are signs in front of behind you
You should know out of everybody
Messages from above all around you
They are there just to remind you of the love that stands right beside you
And in those times you seem to forget
I don’t mind reminding you that
You are a beautiful soul
You are so beautiful
You should know out of everybody you are really never alone
You should know out of everybody you are loved
You have a beautiful soul
Even in the dead of silence
You are being blessed by what you hear
You should know out of everybody, you should know out of everybody
You are a beautiful soul
You are a beautiful soul
HAIMUMBAI
Hey guys,
Knowing that nobody in the world is reading this blog anymore considering I haven't posted anything because I moved to India and got a lot more on my plate than I actually thought I would (college applications, school play [I have the second female lead :D], boyfriend, etc.), I have decided that I am starting anew.
As I'm on the track of applying to universities and colleges anyway, here is my final list. Most of them are in the USA:
Isn't it exciting?
I'm soo incredibly nervous...I haven't bitten my nails off in a long long time, but since 2 months I've started again and there's hardly any left, frankly enough..
Now something about my boyfriend. His name is Nick (Aniket)(I like to tease him with that. He doesn't like the fact he's Indian. Hahah, how about that! First Indian person who doesn't want to be called Indian but AMERICAN!)(Which he IS, must I add..) and he is the sweetest boyfriend a girl could wish for. He's different from everyone else I've ever met in my life. It's something that people always seem to say when they have a new boy/girlfriend, but it's true. Not in the way 'omg I never though I could feel this way for someone,' but in the way that it just makes sense. There is no drama, for the first fucking time in my freaking life of relationships. The only drama is that we're both going to college after graduation from the American School Of Bombay (Kurla Complex, Bandra, Mumbai). Luckily for both of us we're applying to 3 colleges that are the same, so maybe if we both get into the same college..... Ah well. Let's try not to look ahead of time too much.
Talk about boyfriends.. I'm still not over Harrison. Weird, because frankly, he's like any other guy. The contrary from what I thought he was. He was the best friend I ever had. EVER. We talked about EVERything and I never felt weird around him, except for that feeling in the stomach. I wasn't insecure, I wasn't someone I wasn't... I was just..Me. I loved him. I love him. I miss him. He blocked me on MSN (not that it matters, because I'm never on it anyways, because I'm just soo busy, but the two times a year that I AM online, he isn't, whereas he's ALWAYS online)(what am I talking about here :S) and we never talk anymore. We're not friends anymore. I miss that most of all. Not his kisses. But our talking. Not his penis. But our hour-long conversations (that would keep me up nights at a time and would even continue in school d:). I miss it- I miss him.
Did I mention I miss him?
Ah well. Just like any other guy I said. Big jerk. Better off without him.
So that's what I mean with Nick being different, I guess. He's worthy of my time and I've never really found a person to be in a relationship with that was actually worthy of my time.. Lol, that sounds so pessimistic about the past, but it's quite true, I'm afraid.
Well, I'm happy. I miss Tiffany fuckloads. I miss my sister (who plays full-time tennis in Florida at Nick Bollettieri's tennis academy at IMG now) even more (sorry Tiff, in case you're reading this)(which you aren't.). I miss Roel, I miss Bram, I miss all of them. We should just all buy a big house (or a small one, considering we're all students and don't have any money xD) and live together.
Seems a great idea.
See you soon, blog!
(My promises weren't worth a lot before, but they are now, PROMISE!)
Cheerio.
Knowing that nobody in the world is reading this blog anymore considering I haven't posted anything because I moved to India and got a lot more on my plate than I actually thought I would (college applications, school play [I have the second female lead :D], boyfriend, etc.), I have decided that I am starting anew.
As I'm on the track of applying to universities and colleges anyway, here is my final list. Most of them are in the USA:
-Sarah Lawrence College (NY)
-Emerson College (MA)
-Marymount Manhattan (NY)
-Ithaca College (NY)
-New York University: Tisch of the Arts (NY)
-Eckerd College (FL)
-DePauw School of Music (IN)
-DePaul College for Theatre Arts(IL)
-Trinity University (TX)
-Richmond International American University (London, UK)
-Broadway Academy (Amsterdam, Holland)
Isn't it exciting?
I'm soo incredibly nervous...I haven't bitten my nails off in a long long time, but since 2 months I've started again and there's hardly any left, frankly enough..
Now something about my boyfriend. His name is Nick (Aniket)(I like to tease him with that. He doesn't like the fact he's Indian. Hahah, how about that! First Indian person who doesn't want to be called Indian but AMERICAN!)(Which he IS, must I add..) and he is the sweetest boyfriend a girl could wish for. He's different from everyone else I've ever met in my life. It's something that people always seem to say when they have a new boy/girlfriend, but it's true. Not in the way 'omg I never though I could feel this way for someone,' but in the way that it just makes sense. There is no drama, for the first fucking time in my freaking life of relationships. The only drama is that we're both going to college after graduation from the American School Of Bombay (Kurla Complex, Bandra, Mumbai). Luckily for both of us we're applying to 3 colleges that are the same, so maybe if we both get into the same college..... Ah well. Let's try not to look ahead of time too much.
Talk about boyfriends.. I'm still not over Harrison. Weird, because frankly, he's like any other guy. The contrary from what I thought he was. He was the best friend I ever had. EVER. We talked about EVERything and I never felt weird around him, except for that feeling in the stomach. I wasn't insecure, I wasn't someone I wasn't... I was just..Me. I loved him. I love him. I miss him. He blocked me on MSN (not that it matters, because I'm never on it anyways, because I'm just soo busy, but the two times a year that I AM online, he isn't, whereas he's ALWAYS online)(what am I talking about here :S) and we never talk anymore. We're not friends anymore. I miss that most of all. Not his kisses. But our talking. Not his penis. But our hour-long conversations (that would keep me up nights at a time and would even continue in school d:). I miss it- I miss him.
Did I mention I miss him?
Ah well. Just like any other guy I said. Big jerk. Better off without him.
Herro happiness!
So that's what I mean with Nick being different, I guess. He's worthy of my time and I've never really found a person to be in a relationship with that was actually worthy of my time.. Lol, that sounds so pessimistic about the past, but it's quite true, I'm afraid.
Well, I'm happy. I miss Tiffany fuckloads. I miss my sister (who plays full-time tennis in Florida at Nick Bollettieri's tennis academy at IMG now) even more (sorry Tiff, in case you're reading this)(which you aren't.). I miss Roel, I miss Bram, I miss all of them. We should just all buy a big house (or a small one, considering we're all students and don't have any money xD) and live together.
Seems a great idea.
See you soon, blog!
(My promises weren't worth a lot before, but they are now, PROMISE!)
Cheerio.
18.8.09
MUMBAI
For the slow people within us (I am allowed to offend you for being slow, because I'm slow myself- this is my first post in 3 weeks): I live in Mumbai, India, right now.
It is AMAZING. I love it soo much.
At the moment, I'm still residing at the ITC Grand Central hotel, but our address is going to be 'Petit Hall, Malabar Hill'. So in case you're curious, just hop on Google Earth and you can see it there (:
Pictures will follow soon.
Lots of love and kisses,
Camilla
It is AMAZING. I love it soo much.
At the moment, I'm still residing at the ITC Grand Central hotel, but our address is going to be 'Petit Hall, Malabar Hill'. So in case you're curious, just hop on Google Earth and you can see it there (:
Pictures will follow soon.
Lots of love and kisses,
Camilla
23.7.09
19.7.09
BALALAIKA
After an exhausting day of rehearsing for the show on the 6th of August [!!] I looked like a druggie and found myself in want of a strong drink. I called Mingky, because I knew she would be out and asked her where she was. The conversation went something like this:
And there I went.
Here are some of the pictures that were taken. Susan and her gay brother Joey were there as well and it was really nice meeting him; he's super nice (and super gay). He studies in Australia and he immediately told me about Oxford Street (THE gay street, which, 'of course also has lesbian nights'). I love this guy, haha. Anyways. Some photos. If you look closely, you can see I lost some weight! Yay to the yay-ay!!
'Hey Mingks, where are you?'
'Oh heyyy gal!!! I'm at bala's!! Are ya comin'?!'
'Stay. Don't move. I'm coming for 1 drink, 1 drink only.'
And there I went.
Here are some of the pictures that were taken. Susan and her gay brother Joey were there as well and it was really nice meeting him; he's super nice (and super gay). He studies in Australia and he immediately told me about Oxford Street (THE gay street, which, 'of course also has lesbian nights'). I love this guy, haha. Anyways. Some photos. If you look closely, you can see I lost some weight! Yay to the yay-ay!!
15.7.09
WHYCANTIBREATHE
Get a load of me, get a load of you
Walkin' down the street, and I hardly know you
It's just like we were meant to be
Holding hands with you when we're out at night
Got a girlfriend, you say it isn't right
And I've got someone waiting too
What if this is just the beginning
We're already wet, and we're gonna go swimming
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Isn't this the best part of breakin' up
Finding someone else you can't get enough of
Someone who wants to be with you too
It's an itch we know we are gonna scratch
Gonna take a while for this egg to hatch
But wouldn't it be beautiful
Here we go, we're at the beginning
We haven't fucked yet, but my heads spinning
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
High enough for you to make me wonder
Where it's goin'
High enough for you to pull me under
Somethin's growin'
out of this that we can control
Baby I am dyin'
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Walkin' down the street, and I hardly know you
It's just like we were meant to be
Holding hands with you when we're out at night
Got a girlfriend, you say it isn't right
And I've got someone waiting too
What if this is just the beginning
We're already wet, and we're gonna go swimming
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Isn't this the best part of breakin' up
Finding someone else you can't get enough of
Someone who wants to be with you too
It's an itch we know we are gonna scratch
Gonna take a while for this egg to hatch
But wouldn't it be beautiful
Here we go, we're at the beginning
We haven't fucked yet, but my heads spinning
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
High enough for you to make me wonder
Where it's goin'
High enough for you to pull me under
Somethin's growin'
out of this that we can control
Baby I am dyin'
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
SENDINTHECLOWNS
You know that quote that says forget the people who are in the past because there
is a reason they didn't make it to your future?
Yeah, well.. What happens in the future, when those people come back?
I just thought of this after having had my first acting class in a long long time yesterday night. We read a piece from the musical 'A Little Night Music', from Stephen Joshua Sondheim. Fredrik, married to a young virgin bride who can't stand the thought of having intercourse, came back for the weekend to relive his romance with Desiree, an actress/courtesan. At the end of the chapter, there was a song, a quite famous one; 'Send In The Clowns.' Heart breaking, fragile. Absolutely what I feel like right now.
Of course the good times with Harrison had to come to an end and not only in the way that I had to go to Holland to see Roel and had to go to the graduation (which was fun to be at, by the way. Emotional, but fun). But also in other ways.. I'm not going to talk about that in this post; possibly in the next post, though. I have to leave for dance class in an hour and I still have to shower and polish one of my hands. Retard that I am.
Anyways.
Like Sondheim wrote:
Fredrik: Desiree, I'm sorry. I should never have come. To flirt with rescue when one has no intention of being saved...Do try to forgive me.
So what happens?
When two people find out that they belong, but somehow one of the two (or possibly both) is already engaged in such way that it is impossible for that person to become close with the person from the past again, even though he or she finds out that he/she has loved and will always love the other person, what do they do?!
Do they ignore it?
I can't do that. I already told Harrison that. He knows.
I lie to myself all the time. I like ignorance; ignorance is bliss, when it comes to a dreamworld, in which I'd much rather live than in the real world.
But this is the first time I'm not able to lie to myself. It's the first time it's real. It scares me. It scares the shit out of me. But it's real and that means that it's worth fighting for. Right? That means it's worth fighting for, because how many times do you find something that is real in this world,- the real world?
9.7.09
YODADDY
Sorrrrrryy for the lack of posts recently!!
I'm on a holiday in Holland, but when I'm back in Hong Kong, you'll have your recent updates again, I promise! (Not that you're missing out on a lot.. EXCEPT THAT I GOT ACCEPTED INTO 2 BIG DANCING PROJECTS, which I cannot participate in, [NEWSFLASH!] because of the fact that I'm moving to India on the 1st of September [NEWSFLASH!])
Anyways.
I got an e-mail from my singing teacher from 3AMI and she told me to sing this song at the summer show: Your Daddy's Song, from the musical Ragtime.
It is tragic. I cried so much when I first heard it.. Truly beautiful..
I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
I'll add a vid of me singing it as soon as I have one! :)
Love always,
Camilla
I'm on a holiday in Holland, but when I'm back in Hong Kong, you'll have your recent updates again, I promise! (Not that you're missing out on a lot.. EXCEPT THAT I GOT ACCEPTED INTO 2 BIG DANCING PROJECTS, which I cannot participate in, [NEWSFLASH!] because of the fact that I'm moving to India on the 1st of September [NEWSFLASH!])
Anyways.
I got an e-mail from my singing teacher from 3AMI and she told me to sing this song at the summer show: Your Daddy's Song, from the musical Ragtime.
It is tragic. I cried so much when I first heard it.. Truly beautiful..
I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
I'll add a vid of me singing it as soon as I have one! :)
Love always,
Camilla
2.7.09
FORHARRISON
In Holland right now.
Missing shitloads out of you.
I can't believe that we only needed those days to become that much closer.
I guess they only showed us that everything that we already had before we met, was real to begin with, and that made it more real.
The days without you are tedious and pass slowly. I can't believe you mean this much to me.
All I can say, is that if I mean as much to you as you said I do.. I'm not putting up a white flag above my door and I'm going down with this ship.
I don't know why, but I've always felt as if I were living my life in fragments; little pieces, tied together, sometimes with pieces in between missing.
The fragments are mostly songs, that's why I told you that the people I care about are mostly associated with a song, even if I don't tell them. If I care enough about someone, I sing them the song. I wanted to sing you a song, because I cared enough about you and it didn't seem 'right' not to have a song for you, but the song I sung wasn't the right song either. Now, there seem to be too many songs. There are too many things I associate with you, with us.
This is the one that's been stuk in my head since I've arrived in Holland: White Flag from Dido. You should read your personal message on facebook first, however. And maybe make sure that Lanna didn't read that. I tried to make it the least sentimental as I could, so I wrote it on a piece of paper before I started typing. But that didn't help in the end. Normally it does, but with you.... Everything has been different from the start. You're too perfect. We are too perfect.
Here are the lyrics to the song:
It's not all that great. I like the song, but like I said in the message I sent you (do you prefer e-mails or messages by the way??!): I don't think I'm in love with you. It's just a lot of love. I love you a lot and it grows profounder and profounder. Logically enough, there's a point where you fall in love, but where it is exactly, I don't know. I don't know if it's already happened or it has yet to happen. I only know that my heart is yours, because you are good for me.
For the first time in my life, I have something to live for. Someone to live for.
Someone who makes me happy, who is literally my best friend and the best lover I could possibly hope for.
Missing shitloads out of you.
I can't believe that we only needed those days to become that much closer.
I guess they only showed us that everything that we already had before we met, was real to begin with, and that made it more real.
The days without you are tedious and pass slowly. I can't believe you mean this much to me.
All I can say, is that if I mean as much to you as you said I do.. I'm not putting up a white flag above my door and I'm going down with this ship.
I don't know why, but I've always felt as if I were living my life in fragments; little pieces, tied together, sometimes with pieces in between missing.
The fragments are mostly songs, that's why I told you that the people I care about are mostly associated with a song, even if I don't tell them. If I care enough about someone, I sing them the song. I wanted to sing you a song, because I cared enough about you and it didn't seem 'right' not to have a song for you, but the song I sung wasn't the right song either. Now, there seem to be too many songs. There are too many things I associate with you, with us.
This is the one that's been stuk in my head since I've arrived in Holland: White Flag from Dido. You should read your personal message on facebook first, however. And maybe make sure that Lanna didn't read that. I tried to make it the least sentimental as I could, so I wrote it on a piece of paper before I started typing. But that didn't help in the end. Normally it does, but with you.... Everything has been different from the start. You're too perfect. We are too perfect.
Here are the lyrics to the song:
I know you think that I shouldn't still love you
or I'll tell you that
But if I didn't say it
Well, I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that?
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were
But I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
I know I left too much mess
And destruction to come back again
And I cause nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "It's over"
Then I'm sure that that makes sense
And I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
It's not all that great. I like the song, but like I said in the message I sent you (do you prefer e-mails or messages by the way??!): I don't think I'm in love with you. It's just a lot of love. I love you a lot and it grows profounder and profounder. Logically enough, there's a point where you fall in love, but where it is exactly, I don't know. I don't know if it's already happened or it has yet to happen. I only know that my heart is yours, because you are good for me.
For the first time in my life, I have something to live for. Someone to live for.
Someone who makes me happy, who is literally my best friend and the best lover I could possibly hope for.
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