"I know what conscience is, to begin with. It is not what you told me it was. It is the divinest thing in us. Don't sneer at it, Harry, any more - at least not before me. I want to be good. I can't bear the idea of my soul being hideous." Oscar Wilde (The Picture Of Dorian Gray)

17.3.11

Made up Truth

And now that it’s over, completely over, I don’t know what to feel anymore. At first, it was relief. Second, regret. Then followed by anger and pain, it left an emptiness in me behind. What do you do when the longing and wishing and hoping is gone? What do you hold onto? What truths do you believe in?
All these emotions that I felt for you, because of you, towards you, and spite you, are now lingering on a surface I cannot see. Because you don’t evoke them anymore. So what happens to them - those emotions? Do they fade? Or just simply get transferred to a different subject?
My head hurts. I can breathe in and feel the emptiness in my heart beating against my chest case.
I used to love you, love you, and now that’s over. So was that love a lie, an imagined, made up truth? Do we love, fall in love? Or is it all an object of our imagination and are we just a little confused?

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