´What´s the problem with you and Mickael, lately?´ Medin asks me.
´You see, Medin, there are things I know, about Mickael, about us. And those things make me not know how to act when I´m with him. His eyes tell me too much,- when he looks me in the eye, I see everything. I see so many things, every time, and the more I see, the more I know. And the more I k n ow, the less I kn ow how to handle him,- the less I know what to do,´ I say, and I feel tears of desperation well up in my eyes. ´It makes me furious!´ I exclamate.
Medin says: ´That would make anyone furious. But tell me; what is it that you read in his eyes?´
´So many things,´ I cry. ´Like how he feels fragile when someone holds his hand. That´s why he hates it. That´s why I don´t do it. And I don´t know what else to do!´
´Hmm..´ Medin is silent in thought for a while, but then asks: ´What does your heart tell you you should do?´
I snif. ´That I should be with him.´
´And..?´
´And that I should hold his hand and tell him never to be scared again,´ I answer.
´Voici,´ Medin says.
"I know what conscience is, to begin with. It is not what you told me it was. It is the divinest thing in us. Don't sneer at it, Harry, any more - at least not before me. I want to be good. I can't bear the idea of my soul being hideous." Oscar Wilde (The Picture Of Dorian Gray)
9.7.10
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