I am so out of it right now. I feel like running away from everything, but I can hardly walk. I feel like puking, but I can hardly get on my knees to do so. I feel like hurting myself severely, by pounding my head against a wall, just for the sake of feeling something,- anything.
But whenever I move, it feels awkward and.. Not in place. Whatever I say, doesn't sound sensible or plausible and it doesn't fit together. There is a piece missing in everything I do and say,- even in everything I think. It feels as if there is literally a piece of me that is not here to make me who I was before.
Actually, I don't even remember who I was before I felt this way. I only know who I am now and that I don't like the direction I'm going in.
I want to be myself again. I was so sure I was going for what I wanted, for who I was, but now.. All that security in knowing something for sure, is just gone. I hope I'll find it again soon.
2 comments:
I hoep you feel better soon :)
Follow your heart balanced with your reason, I'm sure you'll find the path.
All the best, dear
xoxo
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