Introduction

Okay, so let me introduce myself.

I am Camilla and I'm 18 years old at the moment. My life has been one gigantic failure till this far. Even the good things in my life have bent into wrong directions, which have made me into a miserable, lonely and resentful person. Don't get me wrong: I'm happy most of the time, but that's only because I act happy. The best way to feel 'happy' again, is to pretend to be happy,- just as long till you start believing it yourself.

The best way to describe my personality, is to say: screaming on the inside, whispering on the outside.

Paradoxically enough, I'm a (pretty) loud and (omni-)present person. I'm nice to everybody around me and I don't care about 'groups' people are in. I don't lable, but once someone has lost my good opinion, it's hard to regain it. I easily forgive, but I don't forget. And that's how I learn;

I observe people in different kinds of situations they're in and get to know their 'real' person by doing that and even though I have a quite dark view on people in general, I have a remarkable positive view on the possibilities that those people have.

If only they saw them themselves.

I'm the kind of person that's standing up, face towards the sun, with arms wide open. I get knocked down by life, stand up again and then get knocked down again. I keep getting up and I keep inviting the punches that bring me down, but that's the way life has got to be lived, unfortunately.

This is why I don't believe in happiness. I believe in feeling insignificant and stressed,- in feeling sad and lonely. I believe in loss and hurt. But most of all, I believe that it's about those little moments in between.. The moments that make you feel significant and successful; happy and loved. 

I believe in those little moments that enrich you and heal you.

I believe in those moments that make you feel alive.

Call me whatever you want.

But I'll always be me.