GOODBYES.

So, once again, I wake up in the morning with an intense feeling of GUILT in my git. How long has it been since I last posted something on my blog? I know.. Far too long.
You know, I'm really sorry. It's not as if many people read this blog, but even if there is just 1.. I love that person. I love you, if you're reading this right now. Thank you. In a way you're there for me when things get rough. Like things are right now.

My best friend is dying. He has a severe form of cancer. There might be a cure, but I don't think he's going to make it, to be really frank. I put up a brave face, so I pull him through and get him confident, and also.. I do it so maybe one day I start believing it myself. It started with his smaller intestine, then spread to the bigger one, his spleen, his pancreas, and his stomach. He's the best person I've ever met.. This is not fair!!!
He asked me to marry him. And to go out with him. So I said yes to both (we're supposed to get married in 4 years from now- when I'm done with my undergraduate course at Sarah Lawrence)(still can't believe I got in!). But being with him in a RELATIONSHIP made me so much closer, it's unbelievable. I had to know how he was and what he was up to every single minute of the day. I couldn't bare it. I was so worried all the time; his friend always told me when he was puking up blood and stuff like that, because I asked him to do that for me. It's so painful to see someone you love die, because you know there is nothing you can do about it. You can only try to make it less painful for them than it already is, so what do I do? I break up with him. I feel horrible about it. He thinks I am 'the One' for him and he wants to be with me until I leave India for good, but I just can't be with him. It's so hard.. I want to, but what can I do? I'm leaving on the 5th of June, and then what? He has to get used to me leaving, and even I have to get used to saying goodbye. In every way a person can say goodbye. I'm going to miss him an infinite amount. Not sure I can handle a life without him, but we'll see. Otherwise I'll just come back to India ;)

Anyways. I gotta go sleep now. I have my last 2 exams tomorrow (both French HL) and I need some rest.
I will give some more updates soon (and pictures!).

Love you.